We all get into relationships hoping to share happiness with another person. This is why we have kids, why we make friends, and it’s why we invest in our families and seek romance. Then pressure shows up in that relationship, and you get things from that relationship you didn’t expect or want. The pressure to take ownership of someone's destructive behavior turns love into co-dependency. The pressure of dealing with someone who is pulling away or too controlling turns love into a wedge that drives people apart. The pressure of expectations not being met turns love into selfish demands or self-pity. All of these pressures turn love into something you didn’t expect and don't want. So how do we press pause on all the pressure and expectations and get back to the basics of love? Patience and kindness. Patience and kindness transforms the pressure we feel into the love we want.