In order to be kind, we have to let go of the past. If you keep bringing up the horrible things the other person in your relationship has said or done in the past, you aren’t acting in love…because love keeps no record of wrongs. You may not be able to forget what they did, but you can stop bringing it up. You can stop using it to shame them into changing. It’s never going to work and kindness is far more effective at getting people to change. Instead of treating people how they used to be, treat them how you believe they can be. People often live up to our beliefs about them. If you believe a child can succeed then they rise up to that. If you respect a man then he rises up to meet that respect you give him. If you treat your wife like she is the woman of your dreams she will often become the woman of your dreams. Let go of the past and grab onto the future.